The rain is lashing down outside

Wow Josh. What a really captivating title. Good job.

Excuse me while I go slap my head at my own stupidity.

So while I write this post while giving out at how idiotic of a title I just gave it, I figure best give you guys an update: I’m still sick (wooo). It’s a chest infection but I’m not as bad as I was. Plus I’m very bored. And I have a blog to write. So let’s get down to business shall we?

Now let’s take a pause for a second and think to yourself. Think about where you are in life at this exact moment. And then let’s time jump (using our blogs as the TARDIS/delorean) let’s say, back to 2008. Did you think right there, that year, you would be where you are now?

Because I sure as hell didn’t.

I remember I was in my first year of secondary school (or high school for my fellow american comrades), a bit overweight, nervous, shy, a stereotypical nerd. It was horrible. And if someone told me how I turned out (at this point in my life) i’d probably both laugh at them but also slightly believe them.

To be honest secondary school wasn’t as bad as I thought it was at the time. I have lots of fond memories (and plenty of bad ones rest assured) Sure, they’re were the odd bullies, some people in you’re school that you really did question how they got that far in life, the terrifying teachers (and the ones that really were just plain outright dicks to the kids because they knew they had gone nowhere in life) but there was also you’re friends you used to fuck around with and have a laugh and honestly if i could replay maybe another year or two of that I would.

I’m pretty sure the first conversation I got into with a girl in secondary school, I stuttered and began breathing heavy. I’m not kidding. It was like something you’d see in an awkward teen movie. I DIDN’T EVEN LIKE THE GIRL and yet my body was going into full spasm mode when it came in contact with a female. Which I still never understood to this day because I was always good friends with girls back in primary school and…..oh wait

I forgot.

I was hitting puberty at that exact moment. Well that week really. So, as the eminem song goes, my palms were sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. Fortunately there was no mom’s spaghetti just a voice that decided to break every few seconds making me sound like someone was squeezing on bagpipes.

I think I might’ve scared the girl because I never actually spoke to her again.
Tbh, she missed out. I mean yeah sure my palms don’t sweat (as much), knees aren’t weak (apart from the one I dislocated back in september, another story to tell you all), arms are heavy from all the weightlifting I TOTALLY do (not) do, and my voice, well it’s good because I talk so much, and I can make it sound like the bagpipes on PURPOSE!

…….

Actually now that I think about it, I don’t blame her for not talking to me ever again. She was the smart one.

I really wasn’t kidding when I meant that my life is a sitcom, this stuff doesn’t write itself. Stay tuned for more updates!

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